Monday, May 30, 2011

The married life.

attending a wedding ceremony is such a great feeling. when i was watching my husband's cousin's wedding yesterday, from the wedding march to the exchange of vows then to the most awaited part, the kiss of the couple as husband and wife, i dreamt of my own wedding. i dreamt about the gown i will be wearing on that momentous day, the songs will be played, the reception, my friends and relatives who would be there, and of course, the man i want to marry. the feeling was very solemn, very dreamy, very joyful. of course, a lot of women dream to have the perfect wedding with the man they love the most. but what happens after the wedding?

 

being a wife is a VERY big responsibility. you have to satisfy your husband's and the whole family's needs. you are incharge of almost everything. budgeting the funds, groceries, laundry, house chores, and of course, the kids. you are lucky if you are rich enough to get a yaya for the kids. even if women today tend to have jobs, still they are the ones who will do a lot of house work when they get home. sometimes, we view the wedding as "the happily ever after" part of our romantic relationship with someone, as the fairytale's usual ending. but everything doesnt stops there. some months or years after the wedding, we begin to see some turn offs in our spouses as they also see some turnoffs in us. we often found out that they are a heavy snorer or someone with stinky feet. our spouses also found out that we, their wives doesnt know how to cook or do the laundry, just like me when my husband and i was starting to live together. sometimes, we tend to have a petty fight over something little. i remember way back, we used to fight over the kind of music which would be played during our past time. i, as a rock music lover plays wolfgang or greenday and he, as an old-fashioned, nostalgic guy, loves to play sinatra, the platters, or basil valdez. other times, if we fight over petty things, how much more if we had a big problem to face? i remember way back, my husband and i fought because i went on a night out with my friends after my class. he was really angry and said "may asawa't anak kna, ndi kna dapat gumigimik!" and i was really really upset. then after that night, he also went home at 2 in the morning, drunk, so i said "sabe mo kanina maaga kang uuwi, oo nga maaga pra bukas." "nayaya xe ako ni sir __ sabe nia pag ndi ako sumama kahit saglit sesante nako." he told me. that was so unfair! he has such a valid idea to go on a gimik. after that, we talked about it and we agreed that no one will go on a gimik or we could go on a gimik together.

 

for four years that i have been a mom and a wife, i've learned a lot of things. yes, being inlove is a very great feeling. it makes you feel inspired. it makes you feel like cinderella or belle or snow white. but life isnt like a fairy tale. did you happen to ask yourself what happened to those princesses after they married their prince charming?

 

i've learned that being inlove should also take actions. if you love your spouse, you should accept his or her flaws. may it be a stinky feet, a heavy snoring, (yey! i've endured that for four years and counting!) a not so delicious dish by your wife, a not so perfect ironing of clothes, (which my husband brags about, lol) and any other positive and negative traits. i've also learned to adjust according to my spouse's likes and dislikes. if you dont want each other's music, then you should learn to like it, or appreciate it. i've also learned that you cant change a person. that person will change for her or himself. but if you are inlove, you are willing to change for the better because you love that person and you want to be the best for him/her. i've learned that if you love a person or your family, especially if you're a mom and a wife, you should learn how to cook, do the laundry, clean the house, care for the children (which im proud to say i've learned already for four years.)i've also learned to budget and live frugally. dont ever buy things that are not needed especially if you are on a tight budget. i've learned that if your spouse is mad, you shouldnt fight back.  dont heat up the argument. let her or him speak or NAG and then when he/she calms down, ask her and talk about it. that way you will solve the problem. and finally, i've leaned that you should never go to bed mad at each other. try to fix misunderstandings at least before going to sleep. that way, you both will have a goodnight sleep..or some sexy time before going to sleep. ;) 

 

there are things in life that we never know until we decided to settle down and build our own family. we learn a lot from the married life because that's where everything start. everything starts at home. i've learned a lot of things but im sure i'll learn a lot more as time passes by. i've experienced things and learned from them. but what's important, is being able to build a happy and loving home for the children. cherish every moment that we're together, and be happy with our family. i've been a wife and a mom at 20 and i know there's still a long way to go. whatever things that will go our way, i'm sure, my husband and i will make it through and will stay stronger with each passing years. after all, that's what a husband and wife's supposed to be. that's what we have promised god. "through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, til death do us part".

 

though it may be a little late, well, its better late than never. 

my husband and i plans to get married soon. we just have to fix everything and put everything in its proper place.

 

for now, congratulations to the newly weds. :)

 

 

 

disclaimer: this is only in my own perspective. you're free to leave any comment, violent reactions, suggestions. otherwise, enjoy reading! :)

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